For Lauren, pregnancy was filled with hope, joy, and dreams of the future. She couldn’t wait to meet her son, Theo, and imagined the life they’d share together. She pictured his first smile, his little hands gripping hers, and all the milestones they would celebrate as a family. But at just under 27 weeks, everything changed.
“I’d been feeling fine,” Lauren said. “Then, one day, I noticed Theo wasn’t moving as much. At first, I thought maybe he was just having a quiet day. But the longer it went on, the more I couldn’t shake this feeling that something wasn’t right.”
Trusting her instincts, Lauren went to the hospital for a check-up. What began as a precaution quickly turned into a nightmare. “The nurse kept moving the monitor, trying to find his heartbeat,” Lauren recalled. “The room got so quiet, and I just knew. I didn’t want to believe it, but deep down, I already knew.”
The doctor gently delivered the devastating news: Theo’s heart had stopped beating. The cause was likely a silent placental abruption, where the placenta detaches from the uterus, cutting off oxygen to the baby. “I didn’t even know what that was,” Lauren said. “They explained it to me, but it felt like everything they were saying was in slow motion. It was so sudden, so unexpected. One moment he was there, and the next, he was gone.”
The following day, Lauren was induced to deliver Theo. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” she said, tears welling up. “How do you prepare yourself to give birth knowing your baby isn’t alive? My body still carried him, but my heart knew he was already gone.”
When Theo was born, the silence in the delivery room was deafening. Wrapped in a soft blanket, he was gently placed in Lauren’s arms. “He was so beautiful,” she said, her voice trembling. “His tiny hands, his little nose—he looked so peaceful, like he was just sleeping. I just kept staring at him, taking in every detail.”
Lauren held Theo close, memorising every part of him. “I kept thinking, ‘This is all I’ll ever have of him,’” she said. “I wanted to soak in every moment, every second.”
The hospital staff encouraged Lauren and her partner, Liam, to spend as much time as they needed with Theo. They took handprints and footprints, dressed him in a tiny outfit Lauren had lovingly packed in her hospital bag, and wrapped him in the blanket she had chosen months earlier. A remembrance photographer captured precious photos of Theo, moments Lauren would later treasure. “Those pictures are everything to me,” she said. “They’re proof that he was here, that he mattered, that he was loved.”
Leaving the hospital without Theo was a pain Lauren couldn’t put into words. “Walking out of that hospital empty-handed… it felt like the world had moved on, but mine had stopped,” she said. “I didn’t know how to face a life where he wasn’t with me.”
Returning home was equally devastating. The nursery, filled with carefully chosen baby clothes and toys, now felt like a hollow reminder of the future they had planned. “I couldn’t go in there at first,” Lauren said. “It was too painful. That room was supposed to be his safe space, filled with laughter and love, but instead, it was silent.”
The grief was compounded by the reactions of those around her. “People didn’t know what to say,” Lauren explained. “Some avoided me altogether, while others tried to comfort me with phrases like, ‘It wasn’t meant to be,’ or ‘You can have another baby.’ But Theo wasn’t replaceable. He was my son, and he always will be.”
Lauren found solace in creating a memory box for Theo, filled with his photos, the blanket he had been wrapped in, and his hospital bracelet. “When I miss him, I open that box,” she said. “It’s like holding a piece of him again.” She also decided to honour Theo in a deeply personal way by getting a tattoo of his name and a tiny footprint on her wrist. “It’s a way of keeping him with me, always,” she said. “Every time I look at it, I feel close to him.”
As Lauren navigated her grief, she found strength in sharing Theo’s story. “I realised I wasn’t alone,” she said. “So many parents have experienced this kind of loss, but we don’t talk about it enough. It’s like there’s this stigma around baby loss, and I wanted to change that.”
Lauren began raising awareness about stillbirth and pregnancy complications like placental abruption. “I wanted other parents to know it’s okay to trust their instincts,” she said. “If something feels off, get it checked. You know your body and your baby better than anyone.”
Through her grief and advocacy, Lauren discovered a strength she didn’t know she had. “Theo showed me what unconditional love truly means,” she said. “Even though he’s not here physically, he’s changed me forever. Everything I do now is for him.”
Lauren’s story is a testament to the enduring bond between parent and child, even in the face of unimaginable loss. By sharing Theo’s life and her journey, she ensures his memory will continue to make a difference.
“His life, though short, had meaning,” Lauren said softly. “He’s my son, and I’ll love him for the rest of my life. That love will never fade.”
