I’m 33 now, and this is my fifth year of sobriety. That still feels strange to say sometimes, because for so long I couldn’t imagine getting through a week without using, let alone years. A lot of people ask me what made me stop, and the truth is, it wasn’t one single thing — it was a lot of small realisations building up over time. But one moment that’s always stayed with me is when my mum passed away, just after lockdown. Losing her could have sent me back to square one. Instead, it made me more determined to stay clean. I knew I couldn’t waste the chance I’d been given to turn my life around.
The longer I stay sober, the stronger I feel. At first, it was about surviving each day without slipping. Now, it’s about building a life I actually want to live. One of the biggest things that’s helped is having somewhere to call home. I’ve got my own flat now, with a little balcony. It might not seem like much to some people, but to me, it’s huge. It’s my space. I can make it how I want, shut the door when I need peace, and wake up each morning knowing I’m not going to be moved on or pushed out.
That stability has made all the difference. When you’ve spent years in chaos, it takes time to get used to the quiet — but in a good way. I’ve been looking after my diet, cooking proper meals instead of just grabbing whatever’s quick. I’m paying attention to my health in a way I never did before. Small changes, like going for walks or making sure I get enough sleep, add up. I’ve learned that looking after yourself isn’t about big gestures — it’s about the everyday habits that keep you steady.
I’m also keen to get involved with First People’s new allotment. Spending more time outside is important to me, and the idea of helping grow something from the ground up really appeals. There’s something healing about working with your hands, watching plants take root and grow. I think it’s the same feeling I get from my own recovery — slow, steady progress that you can actually see.
Sobriety hasn’t made life perfect, but it’s made it possible. I’m not just existing anymore. I’ve got a home, I’ve got my health, and I’ve got plans. And after everything, that feels like real strength.
