If you have days where you feel invisible you are not alone. A lot of people feel like they are invisible for many different reasons.
By feeling invisible I do not mean literally that you are the invisible man (or woman). By feeling invisible I mean that feeling that you do not matter. It is the feeling of not being a vital part of what is going on around you. It is when you feel as though you are an object and not a real human being. The times when you feel that you are not accepted, welcome or important.
Feeling invisible can seem like fun, it can though have a dramatic effect on your life.
What though are some of the reasons we feel invisible and what can be done about it?
It sounds horrible but if you are suffering with depression or anxiety then some of what you are feeling can be, in part, of your own making. Particularly during the current situation with the lockdown, we can feel as though people do not want to talk to us. They do not call, or worse they do not answer when you call them. The thing is though, without being able to see them we do not know what is happening on the other end of a phone, email, or message. There could be a particularly good reason for them not answering the phone or getting back to you straight away.
It could also be that they are suffering with your depression or anxiety. They could feel awkward about talking to you. They do not know what to say or do and that make them feel uncomfortable.
They may also be going through similar feelings themselves, so talking to someone who is also suffering depression or anxiety may affect the way that they are feeling.
If this is you, try talking to someone else about the challenges that you are facing. Hopefully, they may be able to help you to understand what is happening.
There are somethings that you cannot change that will make you feel invisible with certain people. There are people who will feel uncomfortable around you because of things that you simply cannot change. Race, gender, or age are just a few other those things that people will put you into a box for. It could also be any other of your characteristics.
You cannot change the way that people are. What you can do though is change the way that you react to them. Try to recognise that you are not the cause of the way that they are and accept them for who they are.
Your feeling of being invisible can be caused by other people being prejudice or not being able to accept who you are. This prejudice or nonacceptance can make you feel as though you must hide the person that you are. The fear of rejection from the other person is too great and you try to become the person that they want you to be rather than the real you.
The only real way out of this situation is to find a way to get more confidence in yourself. You need to believe in who you are and not be afraid to show it. Hopefully if you try talking to the person concerned, they will begin to understand who you are and be more accepting. Trying to be who someone else wants you to be is not good for you, you need to find a way to be who you are, and for them to accept you for being who you are. It is the only way you will find some fulfilment in your life.
There are times when you feel that you are some sort of condition rather than a human being. Perhaps you are in a wheelchair or have some other form of disability. Or you have a birthmark or another type of scar. Times when people seem to refer to the challenge that they see rather than the person that you are.
These situations are further examples of situations where these people should be saying, ‘It’s not you, it’s me’. It can be difficult, but you must understand that it is their way of coping with what they are seeing. These are times when you need to be able to dig deep and show them that you are a person and not what they are seeing.
It can be hard for children as they grow up. Often, they will feel left out or made to feel invisible. As parents we can so easily get caught up in our lives, work, household jobs all take us away from spending time with our children. There are many things though that can help children feel appreciated.
Doing things as a family that they can be apart of, even making sure you have pictures of them up will help.
As children we can either hide away thinking that we are not appreciated or we can constantly be striving to be the person that our parents want us to be, rather than being the individual that we really are.
Being shy can make many of us feel like we are invisible. Many of us can suffer from being shy and it is something that is not really understood. Many of us will simply treat a person being shy in a casual way, ‘oh, it’s just them being shy’ or ‘come on now, don’t be shy’.
To the person though them being shy can be something worse, it could be the start of anxiety which could lead to other more serious challenges in life.
The more serious side of someone wanting to be invisible is if they are suffering some type of abuse. Physical, sexual even verbal abuse can lead the individual to feel under a constant threat of fear.
The more this treatment goes on the more the individual will want to be invisible. They will not only want to hide from the person causing the abuse, but also from others around them.
If this is you, or you suspect this of happening you do need to seek advice from someone who is able to help or the police.
In many cases it can be to concentrate on what you can do. Look at what makes you feel invisible and confront those challenges, learn to find ways that you can use them for your advantage.
Make a list of the things that you do well and look at how you could do them better. Make yourself stand out for your achievements, do not hide behind what is holding you back.
In the first unit for A Portrait Of Myself I go through the process of looking at your emotions and how they make you feel. It could help to use this unit to look at your positive emotions. Look at how each emotion makes you feel and what it is that makes you feel that way.
Your need to feel invisible could be more deeply rooted and stem from your childhood. If you think that this may be the cause it would be good to talk to someone who can help you to look at this further. They will be able to help to work on some coping strategies, in some cases just the knowledge of where these feeling come from may be enough for you to get your control back.
If you are in danger, there really is no alternative but to seek help. It may be hard, but you need to try to find a way to get you away from the situation.